By the time the week of our appointments with Luxor came, about 10 dancers from the club had decided to go. Onyx made all of our appointments and Luxor followed up with her, to make sure that all of us were coming for sure. She also told Onyx that it was, all natural Soybean Oil that was injected in us and that it wouldn’t hurt us. I was satisfied with this explanation and didn’t question it any further. The day before my appointment was a Thursday and it felt like Christmas. I was so excited. My male friend, that had promised to help me pay for the shots, came up to the club that night and gave me the money. I was all set for my appointment.

The next day, I woke up and my excitement level was just as high, if not higher, than it was the day before. I was 100% sure that this $1000 was going to put me over the edge and make my butt into what I envisioned in my head. I imagined all the other girls curled up in jealousy, while hundreds of guys wished they could get close to me. I was going to diss EVERYBODY. I couldn’t wait to show people who I was and rub their face in it. I was going to love what I saw, is all I kept thinking.

I called all of my friends that were going to get pumped that day and I also made sure to call Onyx. I wanted her to call Luxor to make sure that we were still on. My appointment was at like 11am and I didn’t want anything to get in the way of that because I still had to go to work that night. I tried to get off work but because they had enacted a new scheduling policy, it just wasn’t possible. If I missed this Friday night, then I wouldn’t be able to work the whole next week. With two kids, I couldn’t afford to be off work so I made my appointment early and would’ve made it even earlier
than I did if I could’ve.

I knew that I shouldn’t have been going to work the same night but I just hoped that my injection sites would be sealed by the time I got there. Denim, the dancer that I’d gone with the first time, was going again too and she was faced with this same problem. Actually, she was a little worse off than me. Her appointment was later in the day, so she would have a shorter time for her injection sites to seal. None of these obstacles made us rethink our plans though.

Since I live so far from Detroit, Onyx told me that after I got done, I could go to her house and rest before I had to go to work. I would be able to soak in her tub and she’d help me with the cotton circles. After hanging up with her, I made sure that I was washed, smelling good and had on loose jogging pants. I then took the hour and a half drive, from my house, to the hotel Luxor was staying at. It was my first time in that area, so I had to call the hotel for directions but I eventually pulled up at The Inn.

Since Onyx was the only one with the information on what room we were supposed to be going to, I parked and called her. She was riding with Cotton Candy, who was going to get done right after me. Another dancer, named Honey, was also on the way. Onyx tried to get Honey an appointment but since she decided so late, Luxor had only brought enough work for the girls who had confirmed their appointments ahead of time. She said that if someone cancelled, then Honey could get done but outside of that, she couldn’t help her.

Honey decided to come anyway because she wanted to see the process. She was also hoping that with her already being there, Luxor would just go ahead and pump her. Onyx told me what building to park outside of and to just wait in my car. Either I was early, or Luxor was running behind, because she still had two girls in there with her. Knowing how secretive this is, I understood.

There are rules to this game and you need to understand them to play. For one, the girls that are in the room probably don’t want you to know who they are, just as you probably don’t want them to know you. It’s all about anonymity and deniability. For two, people that congregate and run in and out of the hotel rooms draw attention. I knew what we were doing was illegal and I didn’t want to get caught any more than anyone else did. I didn’t mind sitting in my car and playing by the rules.

About 15 minutes later, Onyx still hadn’t arrived, but the two girls that were in the room with Luxor emerged. I immediately put my head down and looked away. The reason I looked away wasn’t because I was scared of them or because I didn’t want to recognize them. I did it for probably the same reason they were half covering their faces with beauty supply store bought faux LV scarves and walking with their eyes glued to the ground.

We knew what we were doing was considered “wrong”. Even if I, or they, didn’t personally think it was, the fact remained that it was generally considered something that was wrong to do. I guess you could argue the fact that some part of us had to feel embarrassed or ashamed. I can’t really be sure. I was too busy being fueled by competition and the love of compliments to notice if that’s what was going on or not.

Onyx and Cotton Candy finally pulled up, followed by Honey a couple minutes later. We all hopped out of our cars and walked around to the back, where Luxor’s room was. Onyx wasn’t looking too good. She was pregnant and I think the morning sickness was getting to her. We moved out of the way so she could knock on the door and Luxor hurried us all in. Once inside, she gave Onyx a hug and they started talking about her pregnancy. Since now I knew that Luxor was really a man, I took a good long look at her.

Nothing had changed and she didn’t look any more or less like a woman. Her brash and rude attitude that I remembered hadn’t changed either. If women didn’t covet better bodies, she’d never have customers. She most certainly was not friendly or nice and knew nothing of good customer service. Money was clearly her motive and nothing else. The only friends she was interested in making, were the kind you spend.

Some said that the reason she was so snotty and abrasive to us girls is because she was mad and jealous that she wasn’t born one. That she harbored some sort of animosity towards girls because of this. Well, whatever the reason WHY she was so uncouth, the fact remained that she WAS uncouth. She commenced to talking to Onyx for about 10 minutes and told her about her upcoming plans.

She said that she was getting several overseas requests, so she was about to go to England. When Onyx asked her how she was going to get the “soybean oil” past customs, she hesitated. She didn’t want to say how in front of us, but in the spirit of bragging, she did anyway.

“I’m going to have it mailed to the hotel,” she said, in a tone that suggested she thought she was smarter than everyone else.

Then she got up and asked who was going first.

My appointment was first so I handed her my bank envelope with the $1000 in it. Even though I was used to having money, that was a lot for me to just hand someone and I was kind of expecting her to be more enthusiastic about it. She just took the envelope and tossed it on the counter. Spirits crushed, but not visibly, I asked her if she was even going to open it and count it. She said no and asked me to get on the table. Before I did, I made sure that she knew there was $1000 dollars in that envelope so she would remember to give me twice as much.

This time, there was no numbing agent but it didn’t matter because last time it didn’t help anyway. As she prepared the syringe, and poured the “soybean oil” into the Dixie cup, Honey asked her if it is possible for her to get done. Without even looking up, Luxor said that she’d only brought enough for the girls that made appointments ahead of time and so far, they had all shown up. She said that if I was to only get $500 worth then she could do her.

“Shiiiiiiit,” I thought.

There was no way on GOD’s green earth I was going to let Honey get my blessings injected into her. NO WAY. Still, she asked me, knowing full well I was going to say no. She turned to Cotton Candy and asked her if she was still going to get done and she anxiously said yes. Honey was a fool if she thought anyone in that room was giving up their work. Luxor told her that earlier a girl called and said that she might not be able to make it. If she didn’t show then Honey could come back and get done. In the midst of their conversation, Luxor had started injecting me. It was just as brutal, if not more, than the last time. I was in so much pain that I wasn’t paying attention to exactly how much I was getting, but I’m sure I didn’t get my $1000 dollars worth.

As she was injecting me, something made Luxor look up. When she did, all hell broke loose. She saw that Onyx was watching TV, but Cotton Candy and Honey were turned around, watching her pump me. They could’ve been counting how many injections she was giving me or they could’ve just been curious and wanted to watch.

Either way, they were about to get it.

“WHY ARE Y’ALL WATCHIN’ ME?! TURN AROUND AND WATCH TV! DON’T WATCH ME!” Luxor yelled.

After belting that out, she looked a little closer at the living room area and what she saw took her to a new level of pissed. Both, Cotton Candy and Honey were sitting on the couch, and all that was left for pregnant Onyx, was the arm of the couch.

She really flew off the handle now.

“WHAT IS WRONG WIT YOU TWO?! HOW YOU GONE SIT ALL NICE AND COMFORTABLE ON THAT COUCH AND LEAVE HER TO SIT ON THE ARM? SHE THE PREGNANT ONE! WHAT’S WRONG WIT Y’ALL?!” she ranted.

She stopped injecting me to go get Onyx and lead her to sit the bed.

“I can’t believe they see you ain’t feelin’ good and they let you just sit on the arm of the couch,” she said.

She asked if Onyx wanted any water and offered her some of the takeout food she had there. After making sure she was ok, Luxor came back over to me to finish my pumping.

After giving me the 3 injection sites in each cheek, she still had some “soybean oil” leftover. Instead of throwing it out, she injected one of my cheeks with it. Because of this, I had 3 injection sites in one cheek and 4 in the other. This meant that one of my cheeks had more in it than the other. I can’t say that at the moment, I really processed this. I was in way too much pain and ready to leave. She put the saran wrap on my butt and I got off the table. As Cotton Candy hopped on the table to get done, Onyx and I said our goodbyes and left.

I got in on the passenger side of my car and Onyx hopped in the driver’s seat. I leaned the seat as far back as it would go and lied on my stomach, facing the back seat. Onyx was in awe. She started laughing and asked me what I was doing. I told her that I refused to sit on this $1500 dollars worth of ass just yet and that made her laugh even harder. She buckled me in as best she could and we made our way to the club. Since Onyx was a manager, there was some business there that she needed to tend to.

During the car ride, some of my butt pain subsided. When we got in the club, she went straight upstairs but I stayed downstairs. I straddled a chair and waited for her to get done. Some time passed while I was waiting, and Cotton Candy walked in. We immediately started chatting about Luxor and our new booties.

A couple minutes later, when a guy in the club called Cotton Candy over to him and said something in her ear, I assumed she knew him. She walked back over to me and told me that the guy knew me. She said that he called me by my real name. Curious, I got up and walked over to him. Sure enough, he was a guy that I had gone to Jr. High with. He stood up to give me a hug, and then sat back down. I straddled a chair so we could chop it up. Cotton Candy immediately called me over to her, to tell me that my saran wrap and part of my cotton circles were showing.

I pulled my shirt down but I kind of didn’t care. I mean, what was he going to say? This was a guy that knew me at my poorest, when my family couldn’t afford good clothes or a car. I had come up past that and was on to spending big money. I’d just bought a butt for goodness sake! It was at that moment, that I decided, I didn’t care what anyone thought of me or my butt shots. To come from what I did, I was proud of myself and neither he nor anyone else was going to make me feel bad about being myself.

I walked back over to him and he asked me what I had sticking out of my pants. I told him that both my girl and I had just got some butt shots. He didn’t seem to know what I was talking about but I knew that was going to happen. You see, life inside the strip club moves at the speed of sound. You’d have to live it to really know what I’m talking about, but I knew this was probably something he’d never heard about. He just kind of looked at me while I told him that it was shots to make your butt bigger. I told him that’s why we weren’t sitting in the chairs but rather straddling them. After a shrug and a look at my butt, he told me it was cool.

When Onyx came downstairs, I threw him the deuces and was happy to be getting to her house. As soon as we got there, I fell asleep on the couch. She woke me up around 6:30 and ran me a bath, so I could soak the super glued cotton off. I just sat in the tub for about 45 minutes, still sleepy and dazed. I knew that I needed to get myself together for work that night, so I started working on gently freeing the super glued cotton from my butt.

A couple of times, I had to call Onyx in the bathroom to help me but we got them all off, with only a minor problem from one. I had no choice but to rip it off and as a result, it started leaking. Being that I had to get to work, I couldn’t be concerned with that. I dried off, lotioned up and drove to the club. I was excited to show off my new look that I’d gotten just mere hours earlier.

When I got in the dressing room, Denim was already there. It was super busy and everyone was talking about their pumping. One of the girls asked me to stand up so she could see my butt and I did. She was, simply put, unimpressed. She unleashed a tirade about how it didn’t really look that different, and how for $1000 my butt should’ve been bigger. She said that I should’ve gone to Freeway like Nova did.

Nova had always lied and denied ever having anything to do with butt shots but she was put on blast by her best friend that night. I couldn’t understand why this girl was being so snotty in critiquing the work I’d had done but I didn’t care. I was happy that I had SOMETHING done and happy that I was that much closer to looking how I wanted to. It was true that my butt didn’t turn out as I had envisioned it would, and I didn’t feel like I had gotten what I paid for but it was an improvement, or so I felt.

There was nothing I could do about getting ripped off. Back alley deals are usually met with back alley problems. What was I going to do, call the police? What was I going to tell them if I did? That a woman who was really a man, whom I’d met through a friend, didn’t give me as many illegal butt shots as I had paid for? That mess sounded like a bad, low budget movie script.

I decided to take the advice from the Serenity Prayer and accept the things I couldn’t change.

About 30 minutes later, this 18 yr old girl that we worked with strolled in. She had her appointment with Luxor about 2 ½ hours before coming to the club, and all 6 of her injection sites were leaking. BAD. It was apparent that she had taken her super glue and cotton off way too soon. She was at work now though, and didn’t want to leave so we decided to help her out any way we could.

The same house mom that was there during the time I almost overdosed was still there, and you could tell by the look on her face that she knew this was going to be a long night. She didn’t agree with what we were doing to our bodies but she still gathered the necessities. She provided us with plenty of rubbing alcohol so we could keep the injection sites clean. She wasn’t able to find any superglue but she did have nail glue so we tried to seal the young girl up as best we could with it.

Before we knew it, it was time for Denim to go on the stage. After her 2 song set, it was my turn. As soon as I walked up to the pole, I had to get my footing because the floor was extremely slippery.

“She must be leaking too,” I thought to myself.

I tried to go about my normal stage routine, but it was almost impossible because I couldn’t get traction. The “soybean oil” was all over the stage. In an effort to not look like a bumbling fool because of the slippery floor, I decided to get down and do a sexy floor show. I leaned my back against the pole for support and seductively slid down to the floor. As I sexily sat down on the stage, an excruciating pain consumed my body, radiating from my butt.

I quickly rolled to the side, hoping that no one could see the sheer pain on my face.

Sitting down on the hard stage was almost as painful as getting the shots and I’ll explain why. When you first get injected with the shots, they are just balls of liquid in your butt. As I said earlier, you need repeated and rough massages, to get the liquid spread evenly over your butt. Before getting the massages, it feels like golf balls under the skin of your butt. Can you imagine sitting on golf balls? I was ready to get off of the stage like yesterday. After my 2 songs, I went upstairs to clean my butt with alcohol so no infection started.

Directly after me, it was time for the 18 year old girl to get on the stage. When her 2 song set was over, she rushed up to the dressing room because of how badly she was leaking. We glued her up again, as best as we could, with the nail glue so she could get back on the floor. It went like this for the entire night. The cycle of the three of us going on stage in a row, rushing upstairs to douse our injection sites with alcohol and gluing the young girl up. Since the stage was slippery after we’d get off, the porter had to keep cleaning it. This irritated him, so we tipped him extra for his extra work.

Whenever we had a few free minutes, we would have various dancers massage our butts. It hurt like a knife in the ass but we knew that we needed to get the liquid massaged in. It hurts so bad to have someone pressing on that fluid to move it around but it was in there now and had to be done. Nova saw a couple of girls having a hard time massaging my butt so she took over. She knew exactly what to do and how to do it. Her massage was excruciatingly painful while she was doing it, but afterwards I felt like a million bucks. I’ve had a barrage of massages over these years of getting my butt done but the one person that did it the best was Nova.

By closing time, I was way past ready to go home. I was stressed and tired. Even right now, while writing this book, the pain is still memorable. I am so glad that I will never have to relive that night again. We kept making jokes about the amount of liquid that leaked out of the 18 year old.

“You paid $500 for that ass but you leaked out $495!” was a popular comment.

The laughing and joking was a fun cap to an otherwise miserable night. I was truly happy to close this chapter when I got home.

More days and nights passed, and the race to have the best body was still underway. The competition wouldn’t die because everyone fed it. Everyone wanted to be the best and since being the best could be bought and injected from a syringe, the game was fair for all those that chose to play. With Luxor being out of town more than she was in, a few girls ended up going to Freeway and letting her pump them. They came back healthy and looking good so that got the rest of us thinking that Luxor didn’t have the monopoly on good work after all. It also got us to thinking that maybe Freeway wasn’t as bad as her naysayers wanted us to believe.

Around that time, Nova went and got more work done and when a few of the girls asked her about it, she lied. I didn’t care because it was her business but other girls did. I felt that if she didn’t want to talk about the work she had done, then she didn’t have to, but on the same hand, she was lying about it which made me think she was ashamed. And if she was so ashamed, why did she keep going? Girls were playing detective about Nova because people want you to admit that you are just as mortal as they are.

Some want to ridicule you for falling victim to the same demons that they have. They want you to say out loud that you needed help to look like you do, but they are the ones that put you on the pedestal. Why should you have to divulge every piece of information about yourself? Maybe it was like this because instead of staying silent about it, she lied. I don’t know. Maybe she felt like if they knew that she was just as thirsty as they were for a better body, then she’d no longer be above them. I don’t know if that is true either.

What I did believe to be true, was WHY Nova had gone to get more work done. I believe it was because we all were and she was just as high on competition as everyone else. She had the biggest butt in the club and since she had been getting shots for a while, no one was even close to touching her. She looked great so she didn’t need it. Whenever we went somewhere or when she was on stage, she commanded attention.

Everyone, including us, that seen her every day, had to stop and watch. To me, it was clear that competition, and a little jealousy, drove her to get more work done, even though she held the title. She wasn’t immune to what was going on in the club and it was clear that she wanted to cement her spot as the baddest.

That’s why I always say, unless you are with a woman 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for her entire life, you have no idea what she’s done. Some of the most natural looking bodies are just as pumped as the ones that look fake, and those are the ones that’ll take it to their grave. No matter if it’s a big fake butt or a natural looking fake butt, they’re both fake butts. One doesn’t trump the other. Natural looking butt shots fly under the radar because no one can tell. People have this false sense of, “If they can’t see it then it must not be there”. Too many people believe the lies their eyes tell. I wish more people lived by the old adage, “Believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see.

About a week later, the girls doing detective work on Nova got the lion’s share of information, when the girl she’d took with her to get pumped came in. The girl verified that indeed, they had got work done and even a little while before that, Nova had gotten even more done. She said that Freeway was way cooler than Luxor and gave more work too. She said that Freeway didn’t use those small Dixie cups and even though its $1000, you get your money’s worth. Her exact words were, “she gives you like a big gulp cup full”. I stored everything she said in my memory. At this point, I wasn’t sure if I was going to be getting any more work done but I decided that if I was, I needed to get acquainted with this Freeway.